Trauma-informed and compassionate communication coaching

I work with couples and non-intimate dyads seeking to increase their connection, attunement, and psychological safety by focusing on improving communication. My approach to communication coaching is unique. In addition to providing education, guiding role play, and supporting skill building, I guide couples and dyads in learning how to attune (self and other), self-regulate, and hold safe space for each other through a practice I call Sacred Witnessing.

Sacred witnessing involves a trauma- and compassion-informed model of joint coaching sessions where I engage in compassionate communication with one partner while coaching the listening partner in skills such as active listening, empathy, self-regulation, and attunement. The goal is for each partner in the couple/dyad to learn how to hold a ‘safe container’ for the speaking partner to disclose, be vulnerable, and be more completely known by their partner.

Typically, these sessions alternate: One joint session, followed by two sacred witnessing sessions (one for each partner), then repeated as needed. We may have split (solo) sessions early in the relationship to allow me to better understand each partner’s context and along the way as needed, for individual coaching.

Typically, couples seek help because they are holding stories about their partner and the relationship that create some degree of disharmony, resentment, and distance. And, there is often historical context from long before a couple is formed influencing the suffering experienced within the present-day relationship. This sacred witnessing approach focuses on the process: Teaching couples how to cultivate safety, accountability, trust, and compassion at the meta-communication level. Through sacred witnessing, partners grow to understand their loved one better and experience increased empathy, compassion, and care. The ultimate goal being that couples learn how to engage skillfully in compassionate communication and outgrow the need for relational support from a coach or therapist.

I do not work with couples in acute crisis, who are adversarial, or where either person experiences emotional volatility, projection, or sabotaging behaviors. Sacred witnessing requires a foundation of unconditional positive regard felt and expressed by each member of the dyad as well, sacred witnessing relies on partners who each step into the process welcoming personal accountability, striving not to blame, and holding a sincere desire for repair. This approach focuses on restoring connection and contentment, not arguing about who is right/wrong or how the other person needs to change. For couples and dyads who would benefit from traditional couples therapy, I am happy to provide referrals.

The Attuned Heart’s sacred witnessing services are not considered “therapy” though, my education and practice in family and couples therapy benefits this work. I provide sacred witnessing services under the category of trauma-informed and compassionate communication coaching, and work with couples and dyads in all 50 states. My primary focus is not to deeply explore or intervene in historical trauma, but rather to guide dyads in gaining insight into relational behaviors, learn healthy coping and self-regulation skills, and engage in communication that connects and repairs.

Complete this brief form if you would like to begin the Sacred Witnessing journey.